Writer's Block

It would seem that I have caught a case of writer’s block or a case of excuses (time, stress, etc).  I know most of you would disagree, since I always have so much to say, and in my defense, I still have quite a bit to say, but I am trying to get my thoughts organized enough to write on some important subjects that have come up within the last couple of weeks.  So please bear with me, I will have some very interesting readings, once I get it together and on paper (which seems to be the hard part at the moment).

Thank you so much,

Yours truly,

Emotionally Blocked  

Remember Kindergarten Cop????

Honest, trustworthy, don’t sugar coat anything, etc…That is what we, as parents, decided we would be to our children, if ever confronted with a “serious” question. Well, time just arrived Tuesday, April 10th, for Colin’s first series of serious questions, and now from firsthand experience, a mother is never truly ready for this; no matter how prepared you feel you may be, here’s my story…

We have been going to quite a few baby showers these past several months, and when we would go to one, and then have the next, the baby from the previous shower was here. So I believe this is where these questions were stemmed…until later…

Let’s begin…

Colin: Mom, How do the babies come out of the mommies’ tummies?

Me: Well, the doctor’s help the mommies have the babies…

Colin: How?

Me: (must call the hubby, find out how to proceed…his response tell him the truth, Alrighty Then) Honey, you know how boys have a penis, well girls have a vagina. (Whoosh, I spat that out), and when mommies go into labor, the babies come out of the vagina, and the doctors are there to help.

SILENCE

So since the silence is taking place, I ASSUME he was satisfied with that answer and we could go on to the baby shower and call it a day…well, unbeknown to me, his wheels were just grinding to create another question that would make mommy, well panic…

While waiting to go inside for the Baby shower…he tests me again…

Colin: Well, Mommy, how did you get me?

Me: (Think, Think, Think, while pounding my head on the steering wheel) Oh Sweetie, God created you and gave you to us. (Yay, I was completely honest and could spare the details) When he was deciding who to give you to, he chose me and your daddy to be your parents.

Colin: Oh!!

Me: *sigh of relief* or so I thought!

PAUSE

Colin: Well, then did God name me?

Me: (easy) No, Darlin’, Mommy and Daddy carefully chose your name.

Colin: Well, I don’t like it!

EXIT THE VAN

I previously stated I thought the question stemmed from all the showers we had been attending, when now I truly believe that he really just wanted me to know that he didn't like his name. So with that being said, all I can think about is how I am now gonna be that parent, that receives a call on the first day of Kindergarten, because my son will explain to the whole class that “Boys have penises and Girls have vaginas”, all because I wanted to be honest, trustworthy, and not sugar coat anything for my children.

All thoughts and prayers will be accepted as I go through this trying time of being a parent of a “Kindergarten Cop” boy.

Truest of Beauty is Held Within!!!

What is beauty?  Is it defined by appearance, mind or heart? Personally, I believe it is all about perception.  How oneself perceives it. A panel of family and friends when asked, “What is the first thing that you think of when you hear the word beauty or beautiful?”  Responses include: Nature, A Model, a Rose, sunsets, babies and the first thing that pops into my head is that it’s not me; the one thing that all of these have in common is that you see them all with your eyes… So when you hear the quote “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” that much is true, it is all a matter of perception and it seems that it’s all about what is seen with the eyes. Most people, like me, tend to focus on the outward appearance of items, objects and people.  The epitome of beauty is not the outside, but what’s on the inside, as Confucius quotes, “Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.” It’s the heart, mind and soul of individuals and objects that bring beauty.

see when looking in the mirror, don’t perceive myself as being "beautiful" on the outside, but look deep within me, very deep, I am drop dead gorgeous…my heart is the size of Texas, my mind, for the most part, is right (some might disagree with this), and my soul is intact by the personality I have. This kind of beauty cannot be masked by make-up, disguised with costumes or edited in Photoshop. William Scott Downey said, “For one to admire a woman merely for her beauty, is to love the building for its exterior; but to love one for the greatness of her soul, is to appreciate the tenement for its intrinsic value.”  When determining if something or someone is beautiful, look within, it’s the truest beauty there is. 

So beauty is everywhere, we just need to open our mind to the possibility that the eyes are not what sees it, but our hearts. People to tend to hide behind masks so true beauty of oneself is never portrayed, so take off the disguise and start showing yourself true self to the world, because believe it or not: You are BEAUTIFUL!!!    

Lioness at the National Zoo - Smithsonian Institution
Truest beauty-Look within!!!!

AUTISM Awareness Month

One of my favorite quotes of ALL TIME is “Life can either be accepted or changed! If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.” So I take you into the unknown of the one thing that I cannot accept wholeheartedly. My son, Aaron, is on the spectrum of Autism…

This is no April Fools, it’s not a matter of self-pity, it’s a matter of acknowledging that once I accept it, then hopefully, family and friends will accept it as well. The long road to discovery… When Aaron was just two years old, we were struggling with his inability to socialize properly with other children his age dealing with issues of behavior such as pushing, biting, not using his words, and participating in group activities. Of course, as a semi-intelligent parent, I assumed and acknowledged that these issues were just the terrible-two stage and the daycare just needed to take a chill pill. Then he moved up to the preschool room with new teachers and new beginnings, or so I thought. The behaviors became even more aggressive and more noticeable. My first instinct was the take him out of the daycare that just wanted to label my child as the problem and not dealing with the issue. Onto the next preschool we go. I withdrew him from one and transferred him to another, where he began to exhibit the same issues and his teacher acknowledged, but with her education and back ground she presented us with her opinion as having Asperger’s Syndrome.

Asperger’s is autism spectrum disorder (ASD) that is characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction, alongside restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interest according to Wikipedia.com. Since he had the same issues with the other daycare/preschool, we decided to check into this suggestion. Tests revealed from one psychologist, that he was, one showed he wasn’t, others said absolutely not, and over the course of years, it is finally time for me, as a parent, to step up and make my own opinion and diagnosis. So with that being said, and with all evidence and research, both medically and personally, I have concluded that he is mildly on the spectrum, but then I realized that deep down so is everybody else in the whole wide world (this is my opinion, only my opinion, no judgment or criticism is required or wanted).

The key is where on the spectrum you fall. Due to the symptoms, all of us will exhibit one or more of the traits that determine if autism is present. Do you have ADHD, exhibit OCD tendenencies, do you have issues socializing, do you have problems making eye contact, what about repetitive behaviors…come on, are you telling me that you don’t get up every morning knowing that you will be brushing your teeth, or that you must make your coffee to be able to function, etc. How about special or unique skills, are you intelligent, or do you have some quirkiness that others cannot understand or grasp? If you exhibit one or more of these symptoms, you experience signs of having an ASD. The question is: are you mildly or severe autistic?

Autism is spreading, but like a friend of mine said, autism is the new ADD. Frank A. Clark said, “We find comfort among those who agree with us, growth among those who don’t.” Therefore, I was in denial, because everyone important to me was agreeing with me that Aaron didn’t have a problem, he was just being a boy, but with my growth, research and determination to do what will benefit Aaron the most, I have accepted the fact that I cannot change what is in front of me, it doesn’t change Aaron nor how I see him or feel for him. He will ALWAYS be my pride and joy, my quirky, highly intelligent little man, and he will always remind me that I can do anything, and I mean anything, once I put my mind to it. Happy Autism Awareness Month and let it be known that I love someone with Autism.