BLESSINGS IN DISGUISE???

Woke up this morning on the wrong side of the bed, ever happen to you, well it did to me this morning.   I just knew the negativity was gonna rule the day, no matter what I did to change the outcome, I was gonna have a bad day…

1. Forgot to eat breakfast, cause I didn't get all my other morning routine done, so I skipped the most important meal of the day, but the blessing in disguise, I got to sit with 4 preschoolers, and describe apples and carrot with ranch dressing, most of the morning, since we were focusing on the five senses today.    

2.  As I was working through the morning, picking up the goldfish crackers, Kashi crisps, and string cheese wrapping and the split sugar in the cabinet, and just cursing and mumbling under my breath with every challenge that arose, and realized the blessing in disguise, my boys are well fed, and are pretty well taken care of despite my “uncheery” disposition. 

3. Then I complained to a friend about being out of food and having to go to the grocery store, on one of the days I had preschool, which after teaching I am not in the mood to do anything else, but the blessing in disguise, I have the budget prepared to be able to go to the store without hesitation knowing my crew needs the nutrition.

4. After going to the crummy store, and getting the bare necessities to last for a couple more days, I needed to get the lawn mowed before the HOA writes us up, so as I am doing this chore, I run over the extension cord, bout to cry and throw a fit in the front yard, kicking and screaming, realized the blessing in disguise I didn't run over the my friends extension cord, just my own, and after telling the hubby, I kinda got out of having to do that chore, I think it’s because I ran over one last year as well, so I am sorta restricted from having to mow the lawn…What a blessing.

5. So I have made dinner, waiting on the hubbie to arrive home, and hurting all over, back is killing me, feet aching, and discover the blessing in disguise that pain in just another way of telling myself I am not dead yet. 

So with every situation, every struggle, every bad day, there is always a blessing in disguise behind each challenge given, it just depends on the mindset of the individual going through the trial.   Take a step back, breathe, look around and realize things could really be a lot worse, and that in through every battle there is a blessing in disguise.

Get Your BMR Today!!!

I am not talking about your British Music Rights…I am talking about your Basal Metabolic Rate!  Shhhhh, don’t tell anybody because it must be a huge secret most doctors don’t want to tell you, but I think everyone should have this done.

A Brief History:

I have been struggling with my weight for years, and not once in those years of struggles have I heard about this until I moved to Virginia, and my current doctor gave me test.  All the previous doctors always blamed my weight on eating too much and not exercising enough, even though I was eating less than 1500 calories per day.  I was sent to an endocrinologist, and he informed me I had PCOS, which is what was causing my obesity.  So from there I spent a lot of money under his care to take of my weight and this PCOS.  Then I had kids, that was a mistake when dealing with weight issues, but I wanted kids.  So I had my kids, and afterwards couldn’t get the weight off quick enough for the doctors, so I went on Adapex.  Lost the weight, but couldn’t keep it off, once I came off of the drug.  So instead of resorting back to drugs, I just finally let it all go.

The NOW:

I recently moved to Virginia, and started a workout program with my neighbor’s church, started eating a little better, but made sure I still ate under 1500 calories a day, since that is what my previous doctors told me, “Exercise More, EAT LESS”, and I still just kept gaining the weight.  Finally, in February 2012, I went to an appointment with my NEW family practioner, and of course brought up my concerns for my weight.  She asked if I ever had a BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate), and the answer to that question was NO!  What the heck is it?  Well, let me just tell you that it has drastically changed my life.

So what is a BMR?  Well, it’s a test that helps determine if you have a fast or slow metabolism, and then tells you what your resting rate is.  With these results it can tell you how much consumption you should be taking in a day for you to lose weight, maintain weight or gain weight.  Pretty cool, right!!!  I am gonna briefly let you know the results of my BMR.  My metabolism is FAST, real FAST!  Now I know you are wondering what the heck, and overweight person having a fast metabolism just doesn’t seem correct, and you would be dead wrong. And let me tell you why, remember that I was eating only ate 1500 or less calories per day, well that is sooooooo off for my metabolism.  According to this test, I should intake anywhere from 2000 to 2400 calories per day.  AHMAZING!!!!  Get this as well….if I exercise at all to help burn calories, due to my metabolism; I have to eat the calories that I burn.  So if I dance to Kinect, and burn 300 calories, I have to eat 300 more calories per day. I have a really hard time eating 2000 let alone 2700.  I realize this is every girl’s dream, to have a metabolism like this, but when you have been told for YEARS to “EXERCISE MORE AND EAT LESS” and subjected yourself to less food, it’s hard to adjust.   Since that appointment, I joined MyFitnessPal to help me calculate my calorie intake for the day; I have lost 15lbs and haven’t done much exercising, since I would have to EAT MORE!!!

I want to personally thank Stephanie Schutter for taking the time to actually listen to me, not jumping to conclusions assuming I was just fat because I just ate too much, and for performing this test that changed my life forever.

    

If you are struggling with weight issues, and nothing seems to be helping, try asking your doctor for this test.  It will have a different result, but it will tell you what you should do and where to begin.  What are you waiting for, go, go now and get this test done.

The ABC's for Life or at least Dealing with a Problem!

I am gonna RISK EVERYTHING...and hopefully, REGRET NOTHING!!!

I have had some issues coming up with a topic to blog, so I decided I would throw this one out there.  Please bear with me. Don’t freak out or judge, but this is completely true…I SUFFER FROM PANIC DISORDER AND ANXIETY.

Oh, man that was difficult to say, but so worth the relief.  Now to explain the ABC’s of Life, I feel in any situation you can use these tools of A B C, in dealing with the issues and problems that arise in your life.  

1.    Acceptance!!    Accepting the fact that I had problem was the hardest thing I have had to do in my life, how could I be a person who suffers from anxiety and depression, as I have a pretty good marriage, two beautiful sons, one awesome stepson, a best friend/soulmate that would do anything in the world for me, who listened to every problem, issue, and any tear-filled sob story I had to tell, and all the family support I thought I needed, but somehow I still felt so alone.  I confided in a friend and told her that I was at rock bottom, in such a dark place that I could see no light, she then told me that when you lying down the only place to look is up, well, being in the mindset of a depressive person, I thought I could look up, only if I wasn’t lying face down in the dirt, it’s kind of hard to look up or see light in this dark valley turned over in the dirt, when I don’t have the energy nor the will power to roll myself to face upwards.  I am reminded of a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, “When it is dark enough outside, you can truly see the stars.”  Dang it!!! I need to just roll over, get my head out of the dirt, and look up to see the stars. It was the darkest time in my life.  I couldn’t figure it out and this somewhat perturbed me as I usually could figure out the problems or at least get the answers through family and friends.   I had lost all sense of logic and reality while being in this dark place, I now needed answers so I began searching for them…

2.    Believe!!  Believing that everything happens for a reason, and believing that there is help out there to get me through this impossible situation and finding the right help was the next step.  Realizing that something was wrong and knowing that I wasn’t myself, I desired to get answers.  I was on a cocktail of prescriptions for ALL kind of issues, antidepressants, three of them, to treat stress, anxiety, depression, another drug for weight loss, and another one as a sleep aid.  It was just depressing knowing the amount of drugs I was putting in my system and not getting any relief from the problems.  I was a walking pharmacy at the 28 and nothing seemed to work, and one would think with all these drugs, I would be the happiest person.  So with all this sadness and feeling of worthlessness, it was at this point I was referred to a psychiatrist, HECK NO, I am not CRAZY, and I didn’t need a psychiatrist.  What would people think about me when they found out that I was seeing a psychiatrist, I’m already worthless, but now I am “crazy” worthless?  But let me tell you it was and has been the best decision of my life, finding the RIGHT doctor makes all the difference in the world.  So my advice is when dealing with issues, no matter what they, make sure you find the doctor that is right for you.  It will be so worth it.

3.    Confession!!  I am not talking about religion, even though these steps are used for that as well.  I am saying to confess that a problem exists and to admit that help was out there was my way of rolling over to see the light. It gave me the courage and strength to proceed with my long road to recovery.  So this is me taking my third step.  Confessing that I do, in fact, suffer from issues regarding anxiety and panic wasn’t east, and I am not proud of that fact, but have come to terms with the fact that this is me, it is who I am. Josephine Hart quoted, “Damage people are dangerous, they know they will survive.”  I completely agree, I might be damaged and confused at times, but knowing that I have can and will get through it just makes me a stronger person inside and out.

Be who you are, no matter the circumstance, you were made special and unique for a reason.   

To Forgive or Not to Forgive...That is the question?

Recently in my life, I have been asked to forgive someone, as I am sure all of you have.  So the question remains, should you free yourself from the hurt and pain one has bestowed upon you, just to release them from the mental, physical and emotional anguish, they may feel from the mistake(s) they committed?  So let’s discuss this!

First, we must define what it means to forgive.  Merriam-Websters’s dictionary defines it as “to give up resentment of or claim to requital for.” That was easy, right, not so much?

When I was attending church on a regular basis, the church gave a spiritual gifts test, to see where your strengths and weaknesses lie, and I tipped the scale when it came to COMPASSION, but severely lacked leadership skills. So one would think that forgiveness would come easy to a compassionate person, like me, but there are difficulties and struggles that are present when dealing with such a sensitive topic for everyone.  For instance, are you forgiving the person, the mistake or both?  Well, according to Bruce and David McArthur, “Many people are afraid to forgive because they must remember the wrong or they will not learn from it. The opposite is true.  Through forgiveness, the wrong is released from its emotional stranglehold on us so that we can learn from it. Through the power and intelligence of the heart, the release of forgiveness brings expanded intelligence to work with the situation more effectively.”  So why is it not easy to forgive someone, well, it is in the definition, you would have to give up the resentment and the feelings of hurt, and it is not easy to do when you really want them to remember the wrong.   So I would have to assume that the answer to the above question is you cannot forgive a person, without forgiving the mistake as well. 

Next, a mistake is always forgivable, rarely excusable, and always unacceptable, but to err is human, therefore no one is perfect, and we ALL make mistakes. Plus, there is no measure to the degree of the mistake, whether it’s a lie, crime, or hurtful words, they are all just mistakes, and should be forgiven.  Lance Morrow said, “Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business.  Not to forgive is to yield oneself to another’s control…to be locked into a sequence of act and response of outrage and revenge, tit for tat, escalating always.  The present is endlessly overwhelmed and devoured by the past.  Forgiveness frees the forgiver.  It extracts the forgiver from someone else’s nightmare.”  Don’t be imprisoned, because someone else faulted, we all fall at some point in our lives, and when that happens, we will be the one asking for forgiveness and acceptance.  Keep in mind though, if truly want to keep that person in your future, you must remember that just because you forgave them, it in no way changes the past; it just makes sure that a future can exist. This is where my compassion plays a huge part in the process; I would not want to hinder anyone from their future, nor mine. If forgiving meant a better future for all involved then isn’t it worth it just to forgive, to make it a memory to learn from and not a mistake to be a burden.   

  

So who haven’t you forgiven, and is keeping you from moving forward with your future?  

Really!!! Two 5:30's in a day!

So for the past two days, I have been waking up at 5:30 a.m. to try to make the mornings run a little smoother, and hopefully, more productive.  Who would have thunk that there were two 5:30's in one day.  That's just unheard of to wake up that early, completely insane, right? ;-)  Well, lets just say there are benefits to this insane, yet precarious decision.  I get alone time even if its for 30 minutes to an hour, its still complete and utter heaven to be ALONE, that in itself is soooooo worth it.  Other major benefits, the boys might, and I emphasize the might, receive a hot meal instead of the same mundane cereal.  Also, there is the chance to straighten before the tornado hits again.  Hey, I even get a chance to make my bed in the morning now, yes, yes mother, I make my bed now, which James still disagrees since it will be messed up again throughout the night, seems to think there is no real purpose to it.   Oh, oh, oh, almost forgot the most important benefit...I get to Facebook, Pinterest and Blog, what a relief it is to get to focus on my addictions without comments or complaints from the peanut gallery!!!!!  Yay me!

Along with my benefits, I see the boys are receiving them as well, which they may disagree that it's a benefit, but they get to make their beds too.  Isn't that just spectacular?  They, too, are able to get things done such as those dreadful chores.  I get to have the dishes put away and laundry separated in the morning, so I can begin the rest of my daily chores, which in turn means they are learning responsibility and discipline.  What a wonderful idea it is to wake up at that second, or is it the first, 5:30, lets just see if it sticks.     

What to Do??

Really need to get the boys involved in something now and into something for the summer as well.  I am seriously thinking Tae Kwon Do, for both the boys, which involves a lot of time for both the boys and I, as well as money, but it truly is beneficial for them.  The benefits exceed the price, tremendously, especially for Aaron.  I was also made aware of baseball registration, so the question remains, do both for a little while, or just the martial arts.  The Tae Kwon Do is a monthly expense for at least a year, and the baseball is just a one time fee and last for about 8 weeks.  Is it too much to ask to do both for 8 weeks, or should I just focus on one extracurricular activity at a time.  I know many families do it all, and I really need my boys, active and involved, but also, realized we are not a family that can do it all.  Suggestions???  

To add to that, I really want to sign the boys up for swimming lessons, after baseball season ends.  So should I just accept the fact that karate will be a part of their lives, and consider the other choices their extracurricular activities?  Decisions, decisions!!    

This message is brought to you by the turmoil in my brain, so just humor me.

Slacker!!

It would seem that I have been slacking on this blog, since I haven't posted anything since October, so for that I apologize.

It has been a KRAY-ZEE time in the McDaniels' household since October.  Hmmmmmm, where to begin....

First, I have been working on my portfolio for photography, slowly, but surely its coming along.  Its hard work, and I don't want it to become uninteresting for me, so I am taking it slowly.  Also, I volunteer at Aaron's school on the Mondays I don't have preschool.  The moms and I are still conducting preschool on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays alternating weeks.  It has been wonderful.  I think we have finally adjusted to Virginia life, even though we, meaning I, would prefer to be back in Georgia.  I am thinking about checking into doing substitute teaching come the fall when CAM starts kindergarten, so we will see how that goes.

James, well, lost his job in October, and then found another one pretty much right away, which is good.  He loves the job, and they seem to really like him.  He didn't get much of a raise, but we will take any job over none at all.  With the job change comes new changes, such as insurance which is a PIA, but we deal with it.  

Aaron has been succeeding in school.  We have had some issues with aggressive behaviors, and the principals, school counselor and we are at a loss of what we can do to help with his impulsiveness.  The counselor has decided to start a social skills group, which I think Aaron will benefit from and also, James and I are discussing getting him back into karate.

Colin, the control freak, is still just that.  He has to be in control of everything and confirm everything everyone says.  Boy, its annoying, but I know its just pure genius at work.  He is excelling at preschool, when he is with the other moms, but with me, its a completely different story.

Last, but not least, Trevor.  He is doing wonderful.  He is such a intelligent and wise young man.  He is making straight A's in school, this last report he was making a C in one class, but he usually brings up the grades and ends up making a 4.0 gpa by the end of the year.  The JROTC has promoted him, and that is a great opportunity.  Also, he is gonna try to take college level class next year, his junior year, so he will be able to graduate with an Associates Degree.  We are so very proud of him, and KNOW that he will do awesome in anything he decides.

Well, that has been a quick update for the McDaniels family and stuff blog.  Hopefully, I will give you more SOON!!!