The ABC's for Life or at least Dealing with a Problem!

I am gonna RISK EVERYTHING...and hopefully, REGRET NOTHING!!!

I have had some issues coming up with a topic to blog, so I decided I would throw this one out there.  Please bear with me. Don’t freak out or judge, but this is completely true…I SUFFER FROM PANIC DISORDER AND ANXIETY.

Oh, man that was difficult to say, but so worth the relief.  Now to explain the ABC’s of Life, I feel in any situation you can use these tools of A B C, in dealing with the issues and problems that arise in your life.  

1.    Acceptance!!    Accepting the fact that I had problem was the hardest thing I have had to do in my life, how could I be a person who suffers from anxiety and depression, as I have a pretty good marriage, two beautiful sons, one awesome stepson, a best friend/soulmate that would do anything in the world for me, who listened to every problem, issue, and any tear-filled sob story I had to tell, and all the family support I thought I needed, but somehow I still felt so alone.  I confided in a friend and told her that I was at rock bottom, in such a dark place that I could see no light, she then told me that when you lying down the only place to look is up, well, being in the mindset of a depressive person, I thought I could look up, only if I wasn’t lying face down in the dirt, it’s kind of hard to look up or see light in this dark valley turned over in the dirt, when I don’t have the energy nor the will power to roll myself to face upwards.  I am reminded of a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, “When it is dark enough outside, you can truly see the stars.”  Dang it!!! I need to just roll over, get my head out of the dirt, and look up to see the stars. It was the darkest time in my life.  I couldn’t figure it out and this somewhat perturbed me as I usually could figure out the problems or at least get the answers through family and friends.   I had lost all sense of logic and reality while being in this dark place, I now needed answers so I began searching for them…

2.    Believe!!  Believing that everything happens for a reason, and believing that there is help out there to get me through this impossible situation and finding the right help was the next step.  Realizing that something was wrong and knowing that I wasn’t myself, I desired to get answers.  I was on a cocktail of prescriptions for ALL kind of issues, antidepressants, three of them, to treat stress, anxiety, depression, another drug for weight loss, and another one as a sleep aid.  It was just depressing knowing the amount of drugs I was putting in my system and not getting any relief from the problems.  I was a walking pharmacy at the 28 and nothing seemed to work, and one would think with all these drugs, I would be the happiest person.  So with all this sadness and feeling of worthlessness, it was at this point I was referred to a psychiatrist, HECK NO, I am not CRAZY, and I didn’t need a psychiatrist.  What would people think about me when they found out that I was seeing a psychiatrist, I’m already worthless, but now I am “crazy” worthless?  But let me tell you it was and has been the best decision of my life, finding the RIGHT doctor makes all the difference in the world.  So my advice is when dealing with issues, no matter what they, make sure you find the doctor that is right for you.  It will be so worth it.

3.    Confession!!  I am not talking about religion, even though these steps are used for that as well.  I am saying to confess that a problem exists and to admit that help was out there was my way of rolling over to see the light. It gave me the courage and strength to proceed with my long road to recovery.  So this is me taking my third step.  Confessing that I do, in fact, suffer from issues regarding anxiety and panic wasn’t east, and I am not proud of that fact, but have come to terms with the fact that this is me, it is who I am. Josephine Hart quoted, “Damage people are dangerous, they know they will survive.”  I completely agree, I might be damaged and confused at times, but knowing that I have can and will get through it just makes me a stronger person inside and out.

Be who you are, no matter the circumstance, you were made special and unique for a reason.